"We're remembering."

Sometimes I wonder about my life. Whether I have affected or ever will affect someone's life in a way that they aren't the same after I've passed through it.

So I started thinking about the people I know, the people I used to know. Even the ones that made me feel like dirt underfoot. Maybe their purpose was to make me feel like dirt, so that someone or something else could come along and make me feel like a person again. It comes down to this balance... I have to be confronted with something frustrating and unfortunate, in order to truly appreciate something that is good to the core.

This is all underdeveloped and barely articulated. But I hope more people remember me for being good than for being frustrating.

Twentyfivethings

I did this on here, for Facebook. I'm starting to feel weird about using Blogger like a .txt document, though, haha.

01. I spent my first birthday in Rome, and have been to Italy four times since I was 10.
02. Rooibos tea has ruined me for all other teas; it is amazing, it's strong, it's great hot and cold, and it's South African.
03. Speaking of things that are South African: me. Half, but still. Maybe I've had enough rooibos and Appletizer in my life to be fully South African?
04. I love books. Reading them, holding them, being near them, smelling them...
05. The blender is my very favorite kitchen appliance.
06. I don't have a gallbladder anymore. All it did was torture me, anyway. Good riddance!
07. "[I am] witty, sarcastic... both of those can be one I guess." - Sophia Nieuwertyuioboer
08. My last name is derived from the Old Norse word for "high island" and in Scotland, there is an Island of Hoy. Bonus! A fact about you: YOU ARE JEALOUS.
09. I'm lucky enough to know a lot of cool people... but I couldn't live without Sophia or Alexis.
10. If I could get a handwritten, personal letter from anyone, dead or alive, other than Jesus... I'm thinking I'd want Sufjan Stevens or Kurt Vonnegut, at the risk of sounding hopelessly hipster. (BRIAN DON'T HATE ME)
11. If I was the only woman alive, and there was one man with whom I would presumably have to repopulate the earth... ideally, he would be Lee Pace; just sayin'.
12. On any given day, I probably quote The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and/or The Office at least once.
13. I've had really good luck with the internet; it's how I met and got to know a few of the people I've been good friends with for the longest.
14. I write pretty exclusively in cursive.
15. I'm a pop culture nut. It has filled me with a lot of completely useless, albeit entertaining, information.
16. I agree with the general consensus that Shark Week is AWESOME. But, if I'm watching Discovery, I'll be honest... it's probably for Bear Grylls or Mike Rowe.
17. I just wrote something here about how much I appreciate anything Judd Apatow, but then I realized it was stupid.
18. Dogs make me really nervous.
19. Olde English Sketch Comedy is one of my favorite things in the entire world.
20. Alexis thinks I have a nice butt.
21. I really enjoy walking.
22. I hate mushrooms and cottage cheese.
23. I can listen to just about any genre of music, and enjoy it. Even if it's just to make fun.
24. I really regret not sticking with piano and/or violin lessons when I was younger.
25. I read a lot of blogs.

Missed connections

I saw you again today. I was walking too fast. I didn't want to interrupt your conversation. Twice in three days, I've seen you, with your gray sweatshirt and messenger bag slung across, two feet away from me.

I guess I'm shy, and you're cute, but you won't make time for me.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower and Bob Dylan are so overrated, anyway.

Quite literal

When it comes to you
I only speak when spoken to.
You're the flame to my moth,
The thread, the cloth;
A book whose very pages I love.

This is not about a person.

It's really unusual for me to write anything and not date it, but this is one of the rare few. It can't be too old... probably from this fall, during one of the times I turned off the Discovery channel for a bit and stared at shelves.

Major fault

My love for you is more
athletic than a verb,
agile as a star
the tents of sun absorb.

Thank you, Sylvia Plath. It's funny to me, that one of my favorite pieces of hers is Trio Of Love Songs.

Plotless

"I admit I find it strange. Not that you walk the road, but that you do it with me." She reached over and gently tugged on his pointer finger. The oddness of the words and the gesture brought him back. Whenever she spoke, he felt like he'd never heard a human voice before that moment, and never would hear anyone but her's after.

These few sentences have been bouncing around in my head for months, but I have nowhere to put them. I have no plot, no real characters, nothing in mind but those words, in that order. I'm searching for the rest. But maybe I should just wait.

Modest expecations

"Simplicity is not the goal. It is the by-product of a good idea and modest expectations." --Paul Rand

Old friends

I think it's ironic, off-putting, yet somehow fitting, that my most long-standing friendship is with someone I met online. He and I have been really close for over 6 years, at least. Funny how often technology is cited as having a profoundly negative influence on human relationships. I guess we're quite an exception.

Ripping times

When getting my nose in a book
Cured most things short of school,
It was worth ruining my eyes
To know I could still keep cool,
And deal out the old right hook
To dirty dogs twice my size.

Later, with inch-thick specs,
Evil was just my lark:
Me and my coat and fangs
Had ripping times in the dark.
The women I clubbed with sex!
I broke them up like meringues.

Don't read much now: the dude
Who lets the girl down before
The hero arrives, the chap
Who's yellow and keeps the store
Seem far too familiar. Get stewed:
Books are a load of crap.

--Philip Larkin, "A Study Of Reading Habits"

Honeymoon

I like making new friends. When everything is fresh; you're easily impressed and so are they. Everything said and done and exchanged is important, interesting; focused and direct, but light and easy, if all goes well.

Cold toes

Today was very rough. My raincloud has had me on a short leash, in recent days.

But whenever I took a step outside, I got slapped in the face by oxygen and chill; I felt oddly peaceful, in those moments, when the tip of my nose got sore in a comforting, childhood-playtime kind of way. I refused to wear matching clothes, and opted for a thin sweater and scarf, though a beautiful wool coat is hanging in my closet, aching to be worn before the summer shows up again.

The juxtaposition of the cool temperature and my warm skin, I felt alive; I needed to, so badly.

Open-notes

Lately I've been living with the anxiety of everything being a test. Most heavily tested is my patience, of course; with tedious hours of sitting, waiting. For a lecture to be over, for a horrible film to end, for inspiration.

The lectures end, the movies end... but the inspiration still hasn't come.